Blessed..... then double blessed

Well everyone, I went to see how many embryos implanted.. So how many??  Two!!! I have never been so happy and so terrified at the same time. God has answered our prayers and gave us a little extra. This week, I go back in to see the babies heart beats!! It's amazing how fast they grow. Today I am 6 weeks and 3 days pregnant. My due date is June 15th. It would be neat to have another June birthday(TJ, Chase, and Herbs are all in June) but they may come at the end of May since there are twins.

So keep us in your prayers because there is still a chance of losing one or both of them.

This is our Twins' first photo :)

Update

Today, I had more blood work. And everything looks good!!!! So I go back on the 8th and that will be my official pregnancy test. I am so thankful that God has blessed me with this gift. Only through his grace is this possible. So pray for us as we continue our journey.

Results!!!

I am PREGNANT!!!! I am so excited. It really started off to be a rough day but then I got the news that I am officially pregnant and all my worries when away. The morning started with a lab tech that could draw my blood. She poked me six times but I was determined to get my blood work done. So after six times I had to go to a different place but it was all worth it to hear those words.

I made It!!

I made it through the transfer!!! We transferred 2 embryos and they froze 2. Then I had 3 days of bedrest. I had to be laying down for 45 mins out of every hour. I thought I was going insane if I wasn't already. I watched lots of TV and read a little. It doesn't sound that bad but there is something about being told you can't get up that just makes you want to. Kind of like, you can't eat or drink anything before a procedure and that is the day that you starve because you can't.

Well enough of my rant, October 8th is the official word if  i'm pregnant or not so keep your fingers crossed for me

Trying Times

I haven't heard anything from the doctor today, I assume my last  embryo didn't make it. I feel so torn with a lot of different emotions. I feel like a shell I'm here on the outside but I'm empty on the inside. I have this huge hole of the lose I feel for not being able to make a baby, which is something we are just suppose to be able to do as women. When did nature become so hard?

Today, I was thinking about when I had cancer and how much that was to go through. TJ thinks that I was so strong to go through all that but I didn't feel strong. I felt like I was going through the motions but there was a certain amount of numbness. I was thinking about how the bible says, God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Maybe this is how God helps us through the trying time. Even if we don't feel strong enough or just feel empty inside, we find a way to put one foot in front of the other and eventually the trail passes.

When you fall, you will get back up

Today was suppose to be the day of my dreams. The day I got pregnant!! I was going in for my embryo transfer (which I had 2 of my own). The doctor's office called before I left for my appointment, not a good sign. The nurse told me I wasn't going to have my transfer today and that Dr. Shapiro will be calling with the details. Why?? Why would you call and then not tell me why. It was a blow I never saw coming, not today anyway. Dr. Shapiro called a few minutes later and told me that one embryo died and the other didn't look normal but that he would wait until tomorrow to see if the one would be ok. TJ was so wonderful. He was there for me and supportive. He is definitely my rock!! This is a down day for me but I will pick myself back up again!! The nice thing is I know I'm not alone and I have a wonderful husband, son, and family. I am truly blessed!! Today was just a reminder of the mountain I must climb.

Ready for the Second Half of the Race

I have 2  embryos frozen and waiting for me to be ready for the transfer. I first had to wait for my menstrual cycle so I could start the second part, which is getting ready for the transfer. So I started my period on Monday (I've never been so excited to see my period come)!! So, tomorrow I go to the doctor to get my first ultrasound and blood test and if everything looks ok then I will start meds that night. Right now, my estimated embryo transfer will be Sept 1st.

I'm really excited and nervous at the same time. I feel like this has truly been a roller coaster and I'm not ever finished yet. We have one shot at using my eggs and I'm terrified that mine won't make it. It's hard for me because I feel out of control. I can not will them to work. I'm a little bit of  a control freak....just a little! I know it's in God's hands and I'm trying to find comfort in that.